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Unknown A
Well folks, it's another week and that means another terrible episode of Ben Afterdark. The entertainment continues from the Trump at White House President Trump has been compared to many famous people and characters over the past years. Hitler, Hitler, Adolf Hitler, perhaps Hitler. But now it's finally time to throw a new name into the mix. Willy Wonka. Cause I've got a golden ticket. I got a golden ticket. Grandpa Joe is always such a Anyway, on Tuesday, the President announced a new gold card available to wealthy foreigners for just $5 million, giving them the right to live and work in the United States and opening a clear path to uncontested citizenship. Think of it like tipping your maitre d, but instead of getting a better table, you had to pour a beer onto your barbecue while wearing an American flag wrestling singlet little guy. Anyway, these green cards on steroids revealed that the President's first cabinet meeting of his new term will become available in about two weeks and are expected by experts to raise somewhere in the vicinity of five trillion dollars or five gazillion dollars or five bad of quillion dollars.
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Unknown A
All the numbers are made up. The points don't matter anyway. It's all to help pay down the country's deficit or just Bruno Mars veagueas debt so that he doesn't have to do terrible songs with sexy red like.
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Unknown B
We he like do like co can't.
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Unknown A
Put it up your now this isn't unprecedented. Nearly 40 other countries have these invest to state programs, but this new gold card would become the most expensive yet. Which makes sense because we are the only country with a sandwich shop offering a foot long Oreo cookie. We just can't give you that power for free. Well back in 1990 Congress did create the EB5 Immigrant Investor Visa program which which offered residency to people who spent about a million dollars on a business and employed at least 10 people. Which in 2025 would just be a terrorist opening a Radio Shack. It needed to be pumped up adjusted for inflation and officials say they'll implement a strong vetting process and clean infrastructure to ensure the funds go to debt deflation, which is already a better process than what the Biden administration had in place for those four years.
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What you had to do was pay.
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Unknown A
Joe Biden's son $5 million and call him a consultant. Listen, we're just cutting out the middleman which as a man who loves cheap drugs hunters should appreciate. I for one m excited to see what comes out of this new program encouraging wealthier individuals to come to our country and create jobs or giving existing companies a bargaining chip to bring the best and brightest from abroad to their workforce. And apparently they already have one guy in line ready to pay for this stress free way of reentering the country without any questions asked. The name on his birth certificate is Groman Boanski. Well, maybe we should get that vetting system in place.
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I not American I knew in town. Nice to meet you.
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Unknown A
And if you think $5 million is a lot of money to cut a line but I rem mind you, it costs $250 million to make a piece of crap film solo. A Star wars story. You couldn't have done this? Maybe like one at a time. And now someone is finally gonna pay for that as well. After more than a executive holding Lucasfilm hostage as their president, Kathleen Kennedy is reported to be stepping down from the position at the end of 2025. You will not take it from me. There is one question that remains. Who will put a chicken it and make her lame and gay? Put a chicken it make her gay? Handp Picked by George Lucas during the Disney acquisition of the filmmaker studio, Kennedy has slowly destroyed the Star wars brand year after year endlessly like a sarlacc digesting its inhabitants by including story elements like a planet of lesbian witches in the act.
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Unknown A
Like making Lando Calrissian pansexual and crowbarring a gay kiss since his rise of Skywalk.
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Unknown B
That's enough.
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A franchise that once made the Star wars holiday special somehow found a new low.
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Unknown B
Stir whip sir Whip whip whip stir Stir whip sir Whip whip whip stir Come on faster. All together now Cooking can be fun. Sir Whipir whip whip whip stir stir.
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Whipir whip whip whip J Still better than the Last Jedi. Some of the absolute worst filmmaking happened during Kennedys tenure with the beloved franchise. She fired multiple directors mid production, fumbled making a Boba Fett movie which I thought was not humanly possible, and stalled a new trilogy for Rian Johnson, a director who while he waited for her dumbass to call made like 10 Knives out movies. Now to be fair, she was justified in not calling Rian Johnson who is responsible for the crime against humanity that is the Last Jedi, the worst movie in modern history. A car crash in slow motion. A brutal murder scene of a film. Detective Daniel Craig should investigate that.
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Unknown B
It's so dumb's so dumb.
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Unknown D
It's brilliant.
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Unknown B
No, it's just dumb.
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Unknown C
It should also come as no surprise.
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That stand up comedians turned woke Watchdog Bilbber appeared in the Mandalorian because just like Star wars, he's something that used to be good but is now obsessed with virtue signaling.
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Bill apparently was not happy.
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I called out his constant and obvious panderings the left and said he didn't know who I was and then suggested that I verbally attacked him for money. Which is kind of hilarious since his literal career is attacking people for money and then justifying literally murdering people over money. Anyway, Kathleen Kennedy would commonly blame toxic Internet culture for her flubs and failures, which is about as delusional as Hilaria Baldwin. Still, pretending to be Hispanic to be.
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Unknown E
There when they come home is not good. So on a human level, you guys know I'm not gonna say anything to you. You know that. So please leave my family in peace and let this all play out, okay?
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Man, that lady is as Hispanic as of Choco Taco. I for one I'm thrilled that Kathleen Kennedy will finally be stopped. Do you know how bad you have to be at your job for people to start missing Jar Jar Banksud I know we all hated the prequel's focus on the Trade Federation's dynamics and the long winded explanations of inefficient bureaucratic maneuvers of the galaxy, but that was before this garbage. Folks, we'll get to more of whatever this is in a moment. First, let me tell you something. I never realized just how bad my old mattress was until I got my Helix sleep mattress.
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You know that feeling where you wake.
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Up and your back is already griping at you?
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That was me more often than not.
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And don't even get me started on how my old mattress turned into a heat trap at night.
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But since switching on over to Helix.
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I wake up feeling ready to take on even my busiest days in the craziest headadlines. Here's what makes Helix different. They don't believe in one size fits all sleep solutions. Instead, they use their sleep quiz to match with a custom mattress based on your body type and sleep preferences. Whether you sleep hot, need extra support for your back, or share your bed with a restless partner, Helix has the perfect mattress. So again, I have to have a firm mattress. A soft matress hurts my back and I tend to heat up at nights to the mattress has to be breathable. Helix knows that they gave him a mattress that works just for me. Right now, Helix is still offering an incredible President Day deal. This deal is exclusive to my listeners.
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And it's even better than you will.
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If you just visit their main website. Visit helixleep.com be to get 27% off sitewide. That's helixleep.comBen for 27% off sitewide. Again visit helixleep.comBen for this exclusive offer. Also, after an era of open borders and ey crime rates, securing the safety of your family is more important and crucial than ever. Now listen, I love the second amendment and a bunch of guns, but the thought of using lethal force in my home might not be ideal. Which is why I checked out Berna and you should as well. Introducing the Berna Ungn, the non lethal self defense platform. Lightweight, simple to use.
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Unknown C
It used an easy to load 5 round magazine.
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Unknown A
Its powered by an 8 gram CO2 cartridge burn a launch fire a 68 caliber chemical filled projectile using patented pull Pierce technology where the CO2 canister is only punctured on the first trigger pull meaning your launcher is always at the ready. It's capable of incapacitating an attacker for over 30 minutes. It's accurate and effective at over 60ft. No permits, no background checks. It's interstate travel friendly with Burrna you will be prepared to defend the Burrna is a safeer, more sensible alternative that could potentially save lives on both sides, protecting both user and aggressor. Thanks to Burrna for sponsoring this video. If you haven't yet, go check out this week's episode of Ben Afterdark on DailyWire + brought to you by Berna Again, go check out Burnout right now. The product is excellent. Check out this week's episode Been After Dark. Contuire to get all the info.
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And while we're on the subject of.
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Unknown A
Well deserved kicks to the curb, there was finally Joy in Whoville as MSNBC came to their senses and canceled the readout. A TV show as exciting as the Rose Tico scenes from literally any Star wars movie. Host Joy Ray and her namesake show had been a cornerstone of the channel's PrimeTime programming since 2020. Now she's been canceled thanks to low ratings and you know the fact that she's absolutely unhinged. Her final program aired on Monday night, but it's never too late to look back at one of her most cringe classics like this ranch she taped on Thanksgiving of last year.
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You don't want to be around me because I voted for fascism? No fair'coughing on you with COVID but you want me to wear a mask for your safety? No fair. My body, my choice. Well, here's an alternative thought. Make your own dinner Maga. Make your own sandwiches, wipe your own tears, troll amongst yourselves with Elon and leave us alone. You've got your heart's desire, the president you dreamed of and worship instead of Jesus. And this time you didn't even have to storm the capital, smash the windows or try to kill police officers or issue death threats to poor workers. See, you did it just by voting this time. Congrats. You got your way. And he even got away with breaking the law.
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Unknown A
Yay.
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Unknown D
But if you expect the 73 million who voted for the prosecutor, not the felon, and particularly the 92% of black women who voted for Kamala to give you a cookie for your vote, a trophy, a hug, a high five, you might be asking too much.
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Unknown A
Camera Death Joy Reid's last name makes a lot of sense because every time she's on camera, she's clearly reading. The body wasn't even cold before someone started mentioning the R word. Not the one that would best describe Joy, of course.
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Unknown F
In all of the jobs I have had, in all of the years I have been alive, there is no colleague for whom I have had more affection and more respect than Joy Reed. I love everything about her. I will tell you, it is also unnerving to see that on a network where we've got two count em, two non white hosts in primeime. Both of our non white hosts in primetime are losing their shows.
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Unknown A
Sorry, my wife tells me I snore. By the way, I just have to say about Rachel Maddow. Rachel Maddow is basically like a shirt that I own about Darth Vader. Or it has the various facial expressions of Darth Vader and happiness and anger and sadness are all the same. Rachel Maddow always has a smile that is hiding tears. I don't know why. Anyway, leave it up to Rachel Madow to make this about race. Despite the fact that Joy has been on TV four years, has been given opportunity after opportunity to become you slightly better on tv, and yet right up until her last day had the charisma of goat cheese. Well, just hours later, reports of massive staff cuts hit the Rachel Maddow show too. And that's probably also racist because she of course is lesbian. It's definitely not just the network adjusting their schedule because viewership has tanked and they need to readjust or slowly wither away into a 24 hour loop of old episodes of Cheaters.
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Unknown A
The episode where the host gets stabbed on a boat is way better than anything Joyri has ever done, by the way. It's like peak tv. Stop.
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Unknown B
Give.
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Unknown A
Stay with me. I need to stay as conscious as possible. Okay, listen, anyone who roots for the unemploy rates of Spike is a super viilllain, so I Would love Joy and these staffers to bounce back. I mean, I'm sure she's already moving on, putting this MSNBC debacle in the rear view, moving forward. Not whining or crying or anything, but.
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Also that my show had value and that I'm sorry that. That what I was doing had value.
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Unknown A
I mean, I do have to say it is a little tragic that the only entertaining thing she's ever done on camera was after she was fired from msnbc. Well, meanwhile, this past week, listeners of Alex Cooper's popular podcast call her Daddy. A show that'somehow monetized. Repeating the words alike and, you know, hundreds of times in an hour welcomed its newest guest, Monica Lewinsky. The former White House intern turned dry cleaners nightmare made headlines again. Now telling Cooper that former President Clinton should have resigned when their affair went public. In addition to this fairly lukewarm take, she felt his lying about the situation only through a young person just starting out in the world. You know, her under the bus. Which is weird because Bill Clinton is trying to silence someone who wouldn't be under a bus. They'd be in their car off the George Washington Parkway.
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Well, the interview couldn't have come at a worse time for Bill Clinton, who's been mentioned quite a bit during this great Elon Musk'scare because despite mainstream media's insistence that what Doge is doing with federal jobs is unprecedented evil, Clinton's reinventing government Bill, where more than 400,000 federal positions were axed, did kinda the same thing. That is correct. Bill Clinton was not just the first guy to make a cigar disappear in the Oval Office. He also made hundreds of thousands of superfluous federal jobs go away forever, just like Ellen Page. Hilariously, with this plan, the Democrats didn't actually save any money because they turned around and hired contractors to then do the same jobs negating all savings. Anyway, with this podcast release and Monica Lewinsky back on the front page, it's not like things could go any worse for former President Clinton, right? Oh, no. When it rains, it pours.
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For the former horn ball in chief. Well, it's been yet another episode of Ben After Dark.
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Enjoy it? Didn't enjoy it.
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Doesn't matter.
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We're at the end.
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We'll see you again later.